About Our Work

    In both supporting and speaking for families who are in interchurch or mixed marriages we provide a range of services and opportunities. Interchurch families bring Christian Unity to life and have been called ‘the human face of ecumenism’ – something that Pope John Paul II recognised when he told them in 1982 during a visit to Britain, ‘You live in your marriage the hopes and difficulties of the path to Christian unity’.


    Interchurch families bring Christian Unity to life.  They live a life of unity across denominational boundaries and have been called ‘the human face of ecumenism’ – something that was recognised by Pope John Paul II who told them during his 1982 visit to Britain, ‘You live in your marriage the hopes and difficulties of the path to Christian unity’.


    When the Association of Interchurch Families was formed in 1968 shortly after the Second Vatican Council and its Decree on Ecumenism, one of the desires of its founding members was to make the unity they had discovered in their own marriages fruitful in some way for the coming together of their two churches.  Their experience of lived unity and its significance for their churches was later summed-up in a statement from the 2003 World Gathering of Interchurch Families in Rome which still applies today, and which said: 


    ‘We believe that, as interchurch families, we have a significant and unique contribution to make to our churches’ growth in visible Christian unity.  Many people in our churches have told us that we are pioneers.  As two baptised Christians who are members of two different, and as yet separated Christian traditions, we have come together in the covenant of marriage to form one Christian family.  As we grow into that unity, we begin and continue to share in the life and worship of each other’s church communities.  We develop a love and understanding not only of one another, but also of the churches that have given each of us our religious and spiritual identity. In this way interchurch families can become both a sign of unity and a means to grow towards unity.  We believe that interchurch families can form a connective tissue helping in a small way to bring our churches together in the one Body of Christ.’


    It is this connection with both churches that can lead interchurch partners to be ambassadors for their own tradition in their partner’s church where they can help to build up understanding and love between congregations. When an interchurch family has an important celebration such as a wedding, baptism or dedication of a child, first communion, confirmation or profession of faith, or even a funeral, they often invite clergy and members of both congregations to join them.  By so doing they can help others to see the reality and joy of Christian unity in a way that no amount of reading or hearing about it can do.  


    Through living their marriages in two traditions, interchurch families are often motivated to share that experience and to be active in ecumenical organisations at all levels. 

    In local Churches Together they can be found promoting prayer and study groups, and participating in joint mission and service in the community. 

    AIF encourages interchurch families to work in formal ecumenical structures and is itself a Body in Association with Churches Together in England and with Churches Together in Britain and Ireland, where it plays a full part in their work. [link to Churches Together in England: Bodies in Association (cte.org.uk)]

    AIF’s members have served (and continue to do so) on local and regional ecumenical committees; as County Ecumenical Officers; and as members of bilateral groups such as English/Welsh ARC (the Anglican-Roman Catholic Commission) and the Methodist-Catholic Committee. 


    Above all, by their very existence as domestic churches which encompass two as-yet separated church communities, interchurch families embody Christian unity in their daily lives.  


    As such, they are a resource to their churches and most members are very happy to talk about how their love for each other has allowed them to follow a path of “unity through diversity” – not uniformity.  


    From its early days the Association of Interchurch Families has been curious about the situation of interchurch families in other countries and over time links have been established with similar families, groups and associations in other parts of the world.  Although we all tend to describe ourselves differently, the names that we use describe very similar realities and experience.  Our closest neighbours, for example, are known as The Northern Ireland Mixed Marriage Association (NIMMA). 


    If you are viewing this page from outside the UK and would like to know if there is a contact or association in a particular country, please contact us [link to contact us page] as we might be able to put you in touch with someone ....


    Significant work has been undertaken with our international contacts under the banner of the “Interchurch Families International Network”.  An important piece of work was undertaken in 2015 when the network submitted a joint paper to the Extraordinary Synod of Catholic bishops who discussed Family issues in Rome.    Interchurch families are also regularly represented at international events such as the World Council of Churches Assembly.  Members will be present at the next Assembly in Germany in September 2022 where, once again, there will be opportunities to talk with leaders from across the churches.


    Interchurch families have held several international conferences to discuss issues affecting them.  At the third World Gathering of Interchurch Families held near Rome in 2003 delegates adopted a document which had been prepared by an international group to explain the issues facing interchurch families across the world.  Copies of “Interchurch Families and Christian Unity” [link to document Interchurch Families and Christian Unity] have been presented to the Pontifical Council for Promoting Christian Unity and to church leaders in the UK and many other countries.  

     

    The international website www.interchurchfamilies.org [external link] holds a huge range of archive material with information documenting the work carried out in many different countries to support interchurch couples.  


    Page WWD2.3 – Issues of Importance to Interchurch Couples


    No two interchurch couples have followed the same path in their marriages.  Many have written of the joys that they have experienced by being members of two churches.  But alongside the joy they often have concerns when preparing for major family milestones that involve significant church services or celebrations.  


    This situation of “ups and downs” was recognised by Pope John Paul II in his comment to interchurch families during his visit to England in 1982:

“You live in your marriages the hopes and the difficulties of the path to Christian Unity”


    To help you understand what the churches say about interchurch marriages, our library section [Link to LIB1.1] contains guidance documents and commentaries on what is allowed. Click on the links below to read more about ....


    Baptism [Link to ISS3.1]

    In whose church? Will it mean that the child is “lost” to the partner whose church does not conduct the service? Can we both be involved?  Can the baptism be recognised in both churches?

    Confirmation [Link to ISS 6.1]

    What is confirmation?  Why should our child consider being confirmed? What will her relationship be with the church of the other parent? 

    Communion [Link ISS2.1]

    Can my spouse ever receive communion with me?

    Getting Married [Link to ISS 1.1]

    What sort of marriage services should we have?  Can we receive communion together?  What is the promise that the Catholic has to make – and what does it mean?

    Funerals [Link to ISS 5.1]

    How can the widow or widower be fully and pastorally involved in the funeral service of the deceased spouse?

    Church membership [Link to ISS4.1]

    Being part of a single domestic church but attached to the one Church of Christ through two separated churches.  Can we belong to both churches?

    Church School [Link to ISS 7.1]

    Can my child attend a church school? Will there be any challenges and what support is available? (New)

      

    .... And much more besides.


    If you cannot find the information that you are seeking, please get in touch and we’ll do our best to help [Link to Contact Us] 

    Pastoral Support

    Does the fact that you and your partner come from different church traditions (or denominations) cause you concerns or difficulties?  Perhaps one of your ministers or priests is unsure about how far their church allows the “other partner” to be involved in services such as marriage, baptism or communion?  Or maybe you feel that church regulations are putting barriers in your way?  

    You are not alone!


    The Association of Interchurch Families was formed in 1968 to help couples such as you by providing mutual support and, above all, information about what the churches say about people in your situation.  At its heart, the Association’s mission is simply to:


     “... provide a support network and information service to interchurch families (including partners and parents, growing children and young adults) as well as clergy, ministers, relatives, and all others concerned in the welfare of these families”.


    We deliver this mission in two ways ...


    Events and gatherings are arranged for anyone in an interchurch relationship or concerned with the pastoral welfare of such couples so that they can share experiences and support each other.  Events are held both face-to-face and also on zoom. [Link to page WWD2.2]

    By providing as much information as possible.  [Link to page WWD2.3] This is especially important because some people are unaware that although our churches remain divided, much has changed in recent years to help interchurch couples live their marriages and bring up their children with the support of both their churches.    


    This website is just one way in which we attempt to provide information, guidance and support.  You will find a mix of articles discussing church teaching and rules.  There are FAQs about what is possible at major milestones such as marriage and baptism.  And we also have stories from members to help bring the experience of being an interchurch family alive.   


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    WWD2.2 - Events

    One of the main aims of the Association of Interchurch Families is to provide opportunities for interchurch families to meet, both physically and on-line, for mutual support.  Such events allow us to learn from each other’s experiences and to pray and worship together.

    We also learn by hearing from a wide range of guest speakers whose responsibilities have encompassed church leadership, ecumenical roles within the churches and other bodies, and the theological study of issues related to interchurch families.


    AIF Annual Weekend

    Getting together to share experiences and to learn together is at the heart of the pastoral support offered by the Association.  Since the organisation began in 1968, one of the most important means of offering pastoral support and shared experiences has been a weekend gathering for members.  This event is now held every October at the Hayes Conference Centre in Derbyshire and recently we have extended our offer of support to those who are unable to attend the weekend by allowing them to join in some sessions via Zoom. 

    Each gathering has a specific theme of interest to interchurch families such as, Christian Marriage in the 21st Century; Believing and Belonging; and Conscience and Spiritual Conversations.  As well as hearing from guest speakers the weekend allows time for discussion and fellowship, as well as services of worship which are held in at least two traditions. 

    Click here for more information about the next AIF Weekend. [Link to Booking/Payment Facility]


    Online Gatherings

    Since the start of the pandemic the Association has offered a range of online services to celebrate occasions such as the Week of Prayer for Christian Unity and the global prayer movement, “Thy Kingdom Come”.  We also arrange occasional on-line lectures – the “Spring Lecture” is a regular feature in our annual diary – and other events are scheduled in response to specific ecumenical events or developments.

    In common with many charities, the Association’s Annual General Meeting is now held online allowing far greater participation.  And finally, we also have “Hybrid events” which are held physically but are also made available online for those who are unable to attend in person. 


    John Coventry Memorial Lecture

    Key amongst our occasional lectures is a series of events held in memory of Fr John Coventry, a Jesuit priest who was one of the co-founders of the Association.   These lectures are given by respected speakers and their theme is selected to be of clear significance to interchurch families. 

    Previous speakers have included:

    Baron Rowan Williams of Ostermouth – Former Archbishop of Canterbury.

    Rev David Coffey – Former Moderator of the Free Churches. 

    Dame Mary Tanner OBE - Anglican theologian and former President of the World Council of Churches. 

    The late Monsignor Mark Langham - formerly a member of Pontifical Council for the Promotion of Christian Unity.


    Forthcoming events can be seen here [link to Forthcoming events on homepage] – anyone with an interest in interchurch families is welcome.


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