What Are InterChurch Families

The various Associations of Interchurch Families throughout the world have as our primary purpose the support of interchurch families. We encourage couples to strengthen their own unity while maintaining an active role in two churches. We also attempt to help strengthen the Christian commitment of couples where one member's attachment to their church has become nominal.

Crisis points

Couples who come together from different church backgrounds face crisis points:

• telling their families; one or both may question or be opposed to the marriage on religious grounds
• the where and how of the wedding
• the baptism of their children
• First Communion and confirmation

They have to cope with the on-going question of worship when their churches are not in communion with one another; conflicting messages from different pastors as pastoral moves occur; and the Christian upbringing of their children when the family is linked with two separate denominations.

Couples in the various Associations of Interchurch Families around the world have faced or are facing some or all of these questions. They can share their experience with other interchurch couples. They can tell how problems have become opportunities for deepening the spiritual life of the couple; for enriching family life by the coming together of two traditions within one household; for bringing together families, friends, clergy and local congregations across the denominational divide, for example on the joyful occasion of a shared celebration of baptism.

Mixed Marriages

Mixed couples in which one or both partners have no regular commitment to church-going may face considerable problems if they wish to get married in church or bring their children for baptism. Sometimes information and support from the Associations can prevent them being driven further away from the churches by lack of understanding of their situation.

Even two practicing Christians may be inclined to give up their connections with the churches altogether, if they find those churches apparently trying to drive a wedge between them in their new-found unity. Or, religion can become a no-go area in their marriage, making it so much the poorer. The Association can reassure couples that this need not happen.

Roman Catholic rules and their application, as well as the attitudes of all the churches, have changed enormously in recent years; many couples have needless difficulties due to lack of up-to-date information. Even priests and ministers may have to check up on the latest situation.

Called to unity

Many interchurch couples have discovered that differences need not mean division, and that unity need not mean uniformity. They have their own ecumenical vocation as an interchurch couple. As Pope John Paul II said at York in 1982: "You live in your marriages the hopes and difficulties of the path to Christian unity. Express that hope in prayer together, in the unity of love."

In living the creative tension of married love, they have come to know that the scandal is not that interchurch couples love each other; rather, it is that the Body of Christ is sorely divided.

They have come to experience intimately the prayer of Jesus: "Father, that all may be one" (Jn 17:21). They do not know what form that unity will take, but only that Christ, who prayed for it, must and will be the one who brings it about.

In the journey to Christian unity, they have become a gift of God, a gift for the healing of the churches.